REAL LIFE ALERT:  Ever wanted to hide out for a bit and hope no one sees you? Yeah, me too. Battling exhaustion and raging pregnancy hormones, spiced with unexpected life challenges, I find myself there often. Wanting to dig a deep hole and hunker down with a big carton of [Non-Dairy] Ben & Jerry's. Have you been there? Wondering what else could possibly be launched your way?

In the season of love, this sweet life is filled with anticipation and wavering thoughts of juggling a marriage, parenthood, and a full time job. Topped with transitioning from a family of three to four and determining how to equally balance some form of normalcy so everyone around me doesn't recognize the whirlwind I'm captured in. That's where I am right now, and our newest addition isn't even here yet. The demands of life are never ending and the expectations to please everyone is nearly impossible. But at the end of the day when I want to hide in my hole or stay tucked in bed with pillows over my head, I know I don't have to be a recluse. I can expose the imperfections of my life because I serve a God who is able to reveal himself and use me when I feel inadequate. 

I can tell how the enemy attacks and tries to provoke those weak areas of my life, but I have faith and encouragement in Jesus. He is my sweet relief. My literal saving grace.

As I've started walking through a mini-devotional to conquer fear and anxiety, I find myself attacked even more. The devo has profoundly reminded me of the power in Jesus' name and using that to boldly proclaim, "get behind me Satan" has given me instant redemption. Digging further in the gospel and applying it to where I am in this stage of life, I absolutely love that Hebrews 11 clearly paints the picture of having faith in Jesus. It was by faith that God was able to fulfill some of the most amazing blessings. By faith, we trust and believe that the universe was created by the Word of God. By faith, Sarah had a baby in her old age, and though her faith was small she reaped abundantly because she knew in her heart that God was able. Noah built an ark by faith, trusting that God would provide for he and his family in the midst of a projected flood. Moses lived his life by faith and obedience to God's will. These are but a few examples that I love highlighted in the Bible, but if God can reveal himself to these Christ-followers and use them mightily, whether for good or bad, can He not do that for me and you as well? God constantly reminds us to have faith throughout the New Testament. Even just faith of a teeny mustard seed will conquer great things.

“He said to them, "Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."”  Matthew ‭17:20‬

“And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you.”  Luke‬ ‭17:6‬

He tells us in Hebrews 11:6, "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."

The truth is, my faith has been so small lately, yet I'm greatly convinced to still trust Him. I don't know how life will end up when we have this baby. I don't know how to juggle two children and keep a thriving marriage. I don't know what my future days may be like or when I'll have time to plan dinners and keep a tidy house, or blog for that matter. I don't know what unexpected words will come splattered at me or how I should gracefully respond. Or how postpartum hormones will be this time and how I'll manage exhaustion and make time to diligently seek Jesus during another major life transition. But what I do know is that I don't have to know it all. I don't have to please everyone and I don't have to necessarily be prepared in each moment. I just have to rest in Jesus. It is my responsibility to obediently have faith in Christ alone, trusting that He will sustain me. It is my goal to continue to keep Him first, daily engage in conversation with Him and meditate on His word. He will ensure that I can handle whatever is thrown my way. The good, bad and ugly. His love and His grace is such a relief and He is all I need for everlasting joy! 

So I'm throwing these pillows to the curb and I'm not wallowing in a dark hole. Today I choose sweet relief, joy, and faith in Jesus. And you know what!? You can't stop me!  I'm ready for this roller coaster life and I'm eager to see how God will bless and provide even when my nearsightedness just can't seem to focus outward. 

Have a lovely day friends and bask in sweet relief today. Indulge in the goodness and grace of Jesus and push the other junk to the side. Conquer today boldly and don't be afraid to unveil some of those perfectly imperfect moments.